Why do you want to help others?


‘I want to donate some money’.  This is unusual, but for time being, let us consider this hypothesis is true.  How can I find right person to donate money?  Its my hard earned money; I have to make sure it should go to neediest person in all available planets.

 

I’m ready to excuse those planets which are still not identified, but I have to make sure there are no eligible candidates in Moon, Mars etc…Does this show my possessiveness?  At least, I don’t think so.  My aim here is to donate money to the neediest person.  I mean, my hard earned money!

 

But how can I prioritize other person’s needs?  Is it right to search for neediest person?

 

 The bigger question is, why am I donating money? – does this give me an emotional equilibrium? Or is it due to the feeling that, I earned enough money for my life (this is again unusual) and its time for me to understand other’s pain and help them?  If that is true, does donating money help others?  As per limited readings I had, micro-financing, setting up a small scale industry etc… would be definitely more sustainable than donation. Unfortunately I have only my hard earned money for donation not my time, effort and mind.  

I have the habit of thinking about best and efficient ways and end up with not doing anything.  Thoughts became recursive and not leading to a conclusion. 

 

I looked around and noticed an old man begging for money, an old lady sitting under a tree and selling fruits, another old lady walking around bus stand and selling jasmine garland and a handicapped man approaching people to sell lottery tickets (Yes, he has only Kerala state lottery tickets!).    I shortlisted these four individuals are my eligible candidates and wondered, is there a term ‘Systematic Donation Plan (SDP)’ coined by any financial institutions to reduce the risk of misusing the donation!   

 

Let me elaborate, if I donate money to the first person and he buys a cigarette with that money?, isn’t that going to break my emotional equilibrium?  The other three shortlisted candidates might not accept my donation because they would like to do work to take their life forward (irrespective of their old age and physical difficulties).  I have to buy fruits, jasmine or lottery ticket from them to make sure they receive my money (though that is not my need of the hour).  Or even I have to buy fruits from the old lady and donate that to the old man. 

 

Last week, while traveling in a city bus, I saw a small gathering in front of a mosque.  An old man was    delivering his speech.  A crowd of listeners surrounded him.  He was talking about a topic which confused me quiet a long time.  I got down from the bus and joined with the crowd. 

 

If our planets are employees of a commercial firm; then I strongly suspect that sun had joined the firm somewhere around April-May.  I also have the habit of working hard to demonstrate my dedication just before my appraisal period.  Though it was too hot, the old man’s speech fascinates me.

 

According to that unknown old man, there are seven stages for donation.  People have to progress from one stage to another.  Though it was not the exact word to text translation of his speech, this is what I gathered from that old man.

 

Stage-1:  In the beginning stage, we will try to put our control over donated amount – how it is being used?, who is utilizing it? etc…  In this stage, we will donate only to those who are approaching us or to those identified by us.

 

Stage-2: In this stage, we will help people (apart from those who are approached/identified by us) who are in need.  We will try to help people whom we know through our friends, colleagues etc…

 

Stage-3: We will reduce our control over the donation.  We will get happiness by helping others not by knowing how it is being utilized.

 

Stage-4:  We will get satisfaction even without mentioning our name along with donation.  It becomes immaterial, who has donated it.  We will consider helping others with our time and effort.

 

Stage-5:  We will even think about donating to those whom we consider as our enemies or to those who believe in different ideologies. 

 

Stage-6:  In this stage, we won’t segregate money, effort, time; our aim will become to help others in whatever way we can.

 

Stage-7:  In this stage we will change our lifestyle and priorities for others.  We don’t even feel we are donating or sacrificing something for others.  It becomes part of our life. 

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About Manoj R

I'm a lifelong student. A freelance happiness researcher. A minimalist. I'm trying to reach a state of ecstasy by enjoying daily wonders in life. My greater aim is to specialize in generalizing happiness concepts. In short, I'm still trying to find out more about myself...
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