We are celebrating Onam in honour of Mr. Mahabali, the Asura king of ancient Kerala. As per mythology; Asuras are considered as brutal, boorish and indolent. Massive part of their time was invested in specious activities such as sleeping, drinking and dancing. Mr. Mahabali was little different. He is the first ideologist who implemented communism in this planet. But Mr. Mahabali neither took patent for his thoughts nor proclaimed as a communist. He believed in egalitarianism. The public distribution system in his country was efficient enough to dispense all basic necessities of his citizen – drinks, mosquito coils and entry pass for discothèques. There were no disparity in his country; everyone got same brand and same quantity of drinks, everyone had to perform same steps while dancing, everyone had to sleep same amount of time. All were well and good.
On the other hand, the shrewd creatures of our mythology – Devas – are considered as embodiment of all virtues. Devas followed a luxurious life. The actions of Devas were considered as step towards implementing justice. Devas organized reality-shows in different parts of the planet and recruited best performers to conduct leisure events in Devalogam. Menaka and Urvasi were few to name. As per mythology, Devas were better organized than Asuras. They believed in asset building, thus managed a hierarchical reporting structure.
The stakeholders of Devalokam were not pleased with its status quo. They were in search for innovative ways to amplify opulence in Devalogam. The sovereign of Devalogam assigned specific responsibilities to each of his subordinates. Some of them were assigned for market research and competitor analysis. He was curious to find out places where people experience luxury and happiness than in Devalogam.
The investigative researchers from Devalogam traveled throughout the solar system and found Mr. Mahabali’s land was a peril to Devalogam. They were amazed by the lifestyle, harmony and impartiality in Mr. Mahabali’s land.
Though it was seen rosy to outsiders, Mr. Mahabali’s land was struggling with low liquidity. The nonproductive nature of Asuras increased country’s operational expenditures and the financial reports had no encouraging digits under PAT. Mr. Mahabali had sleepless nights. The awful seen of his country’s financial situation made him impatient. He took a pencil and thought of drawing a line that divides his people like BPL and APL, but his communist ideologies were against plotting that line. Some of his expert panel members advised him to disinvest shares of nonperforming industries in the country. He even got advices to invite FDI in political industry in the country which in intern will help to provide better governance to its citizens, take steps to stop specious activities during work-hours. As expected, Mr. Mahabali was against any action that breaks equality in his region. But the financial situation forced Mr. Mahabali to write individual letters to all his citizens. He requested his people to take steps to reduce Government’s expenditure on providing drinks, mosquito coils and entry pass for discotheques.
Devas spent enormous amount of time in analysing the data collected from Mr. Mahabali’s land and had enough brainstorming sessions. The easiest way to surmount any threat is to destroy it. Finally Devas decided to invest in Kerala’s real-estate sector. Thus our land got the name – God’s own country. They also envisioned a real-estate boom in Kerala and the opportunity for long term capital gain, still there is no tax for long term capital gains.
The inborn prejudice backtracked Devas from directly contacting Mr. Mahabali for the deal. Fancy dressed members from Devalogam approached Mr. Mahabali for the land and embittered him with forged deal conditions. The innocent ideologist – Mr. Mahabali – was cheated by Devas. While leaving his kingdom, Mr. Mahabali pleaded in front of Devas for getting permission to visit his country once in a year. Mr. Mahabali requested his citizens to keep equality, unity and harmony among themselves.
Devas agreed to Mahabali’s last wish and permitted him to visit his kingdom once in a year. We, the loyal citizens of our old Asura King, still maintain equality and harmony in front of beverages corporation outlets. After all, Onam is one of the revenue generating festivals for our state. In this era of economic slowdown, each one of us has the responsibility to contribute for the survival of day to day Government activities. Let’s wait and watch, whether we will attain the target of Rs. 5,000,000,000/= in this festival season. Sept. 1st and 2nd being holidays, financial analysts had already expressed doubt in attaining the target. This adds more excitement in following the day to day digits in Onam season just like watching a 20-20 match.
Yes, we are celebrating Onam in honour of Mr. Mahabali, the Asura king of ancient Kerala.